Aug 03 2014

When hunting dragons … especially for Keira and Fiona

Category: Generalfootlight @ 22:47

Everyone knows that dragons are secretive creatures. Ask anyone you know and very few, if any, will have seen one. They live out their lives avoiding people, mostly because people just want to kill or enslave them. Many – MANY – years ago, dragons were less afraid, but they learned from their mistakes and make a point, now, of keeping themselves to themselves.

If, therefore, you wish to find a dragon, there are a number of signs to look for and points to remember, the most important being this one:

Chapter 4 – Dragons are dangerous.
They eat most things and there are no documented cases of vegetarians. As dragons eat a variety of food – some eat cows, some eat fish … some eat people! – it is as well to know which one you are dealing with, should you actually find one at all. Since it is quite hard to get chatty with a dragon in order to ask about its eating habits, there is only one sure-fire way to find out if its preferred food is human. Poo. If you are ‘lucky’ enough to find some in the middle of a path between two lines of fern, get down and have a good sniff. Dragons that eat people leave an odour very much like old Brussel sprouts. Look carefully at the colour. If it is a dark brown with yellow flecks, that is another good clue. Is it in a neat pile? If so, you have clue number three. Last thing is the texture. The only way to find this out is – in the words of Ol’ Teagan McVain, the reknowned dragon hunter – “When coming suddenly upon the poo of a dragon, get yer fingers in and see what ‘e ‘ad for his dinns. Only this way will you know if you are likely to be on the menu in the future.”

The rest is up to you, but a strong pairs of legs is a good idea.